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Posted in Life Coaching

How have Life’s Thumps challenged you?

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Is Exercise a punishment?

Is Exercise a punishment?

Not According to Michelle May, M.D. in her January 2012 Am I hungry newsletter, we need to exercise for health, not punishment.  Read Dr. May’s advice:

“Don’t make the mistake of exercising to earn the right to eat or pay penance for eating, as in, “I was so bad at dinner last night; I’ll spend an extra hour on the treadmill.” This negative approach leads to dread and avoidance. Instead, exercise for energy, productivity, health, function, and longevity.

Two views of local Extension leaders drilling ...
Image by Cornell University Library via Flickr

Find activities that you really enjoy and that work well in your schedule. Even busy people quickly discover that it’s a great return on their investment when they focus on the benefits. Exercise is so valuable in fact, that if you’re too busy to exercise, you’re just too busy.

If you aren’t in shape yet, start small and you’ll quickly adapt. Picture that pendulum: small steps practiced consistently are more effective than one large, temporary overhaul.” –http://amihungry.com/enews.shtml

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For your health and wellness get a free complimentary life coach session at Aspire! Professional Life Coach Services  – Join me – Let’s Make a Move in 2012♥ Call 800-549-0213 or visit my website at www.aspire-lifecoach.com

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BLINDS SPOTS – Part II: We prefer fantasy instead of the pain of reality.

Does that make sense? Read the following scenario.

A woman thinking

There was a woman who left her husband after years of emotional abuse.  She had been in and out of counseling for years.  Each time she left her husband, she returned, hoping he was sincere about changing, trusting he would stop the emotional abuse,  and believing the relationship would begin to thrive.   This woman knew, through her own life experiences, this was not going to happen.  She knew she could not change him; however, the thought of ending the relationship was a feeling she didn’t want to experience.  To her, it was much more than ending the relationship, it was about packing up all her hopes and dreams –the fear of making a new life for her and her children — she didn’t want to face, the unknown she didn’t think, she knew how.  So she continued to put it off.

Does this sounds familiar?  Do you know someone in a situation like that?  Or, are you in a relationship, or a job, or any other situation where you would prefer fantasy instead of the pain of reality?    I know I’ve put off making important decisions because it was more comfortable being in the mess than it was in the pain of making the change.  It’s easier to turn the channels on life and tune out reality so we do not have to face the pain of it all.

According to Scott Peck, author of the Road Less Traveled, “Once we get it that life is difficult….then life is no longer difficult.”

So what can this woman do to get off the rollercoaster of life and take the next steps toward a smoother path?   She can begin to:

  • Address the issue that sometimes change is painful.
  • Normalize what she is feeling.
  • Address that they she can’t make the decision unless she first clears out the old.
  • Reflect on questions during quiet time such as:

Is there any truth I am refusing to look at because of the pain?

Is this a problem that I have ignored in the past?

Am I willing to make a change?

Based on American Association of Christian Counseling (www.aacc.net), Professional Life Coaching 201 Series, Trainer:  Georgia Shaffer, M.A. (Licensed Pennsylvania Psychologist/Life Coach
Posted in african american, Business, career, children, Christian Life Coach, education, family, health, health and wellness, hope, life, Life Coaching, mothers, parenting, transitions, Wellness Coaching, women, Women Transitions

BLINDSPOTS!

BLINDSPOTS (Part I of IV)

“It’s the things we do not see that hinder our success.”

 “Forewarned is Forearmed.”

When a car nearly swipes another on the freeway you have witnessed an example of a visual blindspot and as people; we meet up with blindspots that can throw curves in our lives.  There are also mental blindspots (for example long ago the Pharisees were accused of being “blind” because they saw outward behavior as more important than the matters of the heart).  Whether it’s visual or mental, blindspots can halt our ability to move forward.

How many of you have had dreams and visions that became stalled because of unresolved issues in your life?

Well, I want to share with you this evening, a lesson on one of 4 common blindspots and how the services of a life coach help you to breakthrough.

Blind Spot #1:

“We think we are the exception to the rule.”

Athletes have a tendency, to see themselves as above average than their peers.

94% of college professors rank themselves as “above average,” even though statistics show in actuality 50% may be above average.

How many of you remember the cartoon character Yogi Bear, his sidekick Boo-Boo, and Ranger Smith?  Do you remember Yogi’s famous saying, “I’m smarter than the average bear.”  If you recall, Yogi was always getting into trouble because he overestimated his cleverness.  Ranger Smith caught Yogi doing things he shouldn’t have done and then poor

Boo-Boo Bear

Image via Wikipedia

Boo-Boo, who use to say, “But Yogi, I don’t think Ranger Smith is going to like that.”

 Researchers have found that those who are the least skilled tend to overestimate their skills and are the ones who get themselves into trouble (debt, credit cards, etc.).  On the other hand, those gifted tend to underestimate themselves.

 This is important to know as a life coach because if a client is consistently underestimating their abilities, guide the client to address their fears and spend time asking the questions that encourage them to take risks by setting realistic expectations.

 The bottom line is never assume we are the exception to the Rule.

2010 taken from Association of Christian Counselors, Life Coach Lesson, presented
by Dwight Bain.
Posted in african american, Christian Life Coach, education, health and wellness, Life Coaching, mothers, parenting, reading, weight loss, Wellness Coaching, women, Women Transitions, Working families

Coaching is about walking beside others!

You are not here merely to make a living. You are here to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world and you impoverish yourselves if you forget the errand.” -Woodrow Wilson

There are multiple people with varying personalities on this earth. We all have different stories about our life experiences. We can help others pull through tough times through storytelling.   When you face a challenge head on, it strengthens you, deepens your faith, matures and develops you. In addition, it helps you become equipped, ready, and able to move forward aPenguinsnd add value to someone else. Coaching flows out of one’s life story. Coaching is about results!

My life experience has equipped me and prepared me to walk beside others with God’s grace. God’s spirit is stirring me up, this gift inside of me is like a laser beam to guide people and encourage them to take part in their own life. This stirring is taking me beyond my fears.

Aspire! Professional Life Coach service unlocks the door and opens your world so YOU can begin to create new opportunities, possibilities, and empowerment. Live Your Life! In these tough times we are living in, we must build on our strengths – develop goals to bounce back. God gave a color on the rainbow. God is walking with me on my life journey so I can walk with you on yours as a professional coach.

Can I really walk beside YOU and guide you.? Yes, I can. I’m open to telling my story. Will you? Walk with me!

Posted in african american, Business, career, children, Christian Life Coach, family, health, health and wellness, hope, life, Life Coaching, mothers, parenting, transitions, weight loss, Wellness Coaching, women, Women Transitions, Working families

Can YOU fail wisely?

Smooth
seas do not make skillful sailors.

— African proverb

The Center for Social Leaders posted a very timely newsletter blog on Failing Wisely, enjoy:

Many venture capital firms are actually more likely to invest in an entrepreneur who has already failed in a prior business effort, as long as the entrepreneur can demonstrate how he or she learned from it. Why? The entrepreneur has experienced the learning curve that only ‘failure’ generates. It’s my experience that the most successful leaders all have one thing in common: they “fail wisely.” After being fired from the company he started at age thirty (Apple), Steve Jobs used the opportunity to build the most successful animation company in history (Pixar).
He later returned to lead Apple through its most successful period and revolutionize the music industry. Jobs has said that being fired from Apple “freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life … The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again.”
Jobs is living proof that what one person calls “failure” is evolution and positive growth to another.

As adults we brood over our “failures”—which is precisely what keeps us failing over and over again. Our feelings of failure generate even greater feelings of low self-esteem that diminish our capacity to succeed.  The next time you have a thought such as “I’m a failure” or “Look, there I go, messing up again,” mentally reengineer your negative thought by instead asking yourself the questions: “How can I fail wisely?” and “What must I learn from this experience to help me more effectively reach my goals?”

Apply the inner wisdom that emanates from your responses to move more assuredly forward—with the new skills and learning you have picked up along the way—toward your goals.

-Taken from Center for Social Leaders (baloney@socialleaders.org), newsletter entitled:  ” Smile!  It’s Monday”  – www.smileitsmonday.com

Posted in Business, Christian Life Coach, education, family, health, health and wellness, humor, life, Life Coaching, mothers, parenting, reading, school, Wellness Coaching, women, Women Transitions, Working families

Mirror Mirror on the Wall – a little humor!

Mirror Mirror on the Wall,

I’m not like her, not at all♥

Many Mothers all over the world would agree that with motherhood there is, at times, a love/hate relationship with daughters. My mom could be firm, an authoritarian, and humorous.  How can we love someone so much one-minute and equally hate another.

How many of you realize that your Mom is really been your best friend? Years ago, I would have laughed, if you told me that. 

 I can remember the times when I couldn’t spend the night at a friend’s house, or go to the biggest “party,” of the year, after countless minutes of begging.  My mother would sternly look at me and say, “NO, you can’t.”  “You may not realize it now, Lileen Ellen, but I am your Best friend and there are reasons for me not letting you go to the party.”

 As I turn away, I’m talking very low under my breath, “If you’re  my best friend,  then I hate to see my enemies.”

 Believe me, I know times have changed, but when I was growing up, body language could make you or break you. The WRONG look or stand, mumbling, rolling the eyes, or try putting your hands on your hips.  Any one of these moves may have been your last activity on earth.  Shoot!  We really believed mothers had eyes behind their heads, because “the SMACK” could come, land on the right target, without her even turning around or blinking an eye.

 I admit, I was a smarty pants, Yea me!  I considered my body language “free speech,” until I realized that the constitution didn’t work very well at home.

 One evening I was so upset with my Mom that I stomped to my room.  I mean stomped and slammed my bedroom door.  oops!   What an insane thing to do!   Sanity came back as quickly as it left and I grabbed the door knobbed and quickly opened the door, I stood there, just stood……I could hear her feet coming down the hallway….., sweat poured down my forehead, as I anticipated the “SMACK.” A voice said, YELL!  I quickly yelled, “THE WIND DID IT.”  Just in time.  Her feet slowed and retreated, I heard her say, “Better have.” WHEW! 

 Now, there was a humorous side to my Mom. 

I recall my parents made the grave mistake one Sunday at church, and directed all five of us children to sit on one row behind them at church.  We honestly started out dignified, sitting up straight, and on our best behavior.  Choir just finished singing, church was very quiet.  Well, someone nearby accidentally released gas and not from the furnace.  What did they do that for?  On one row, you could clearly hear snickering and grunt sounds.  We were truly trying to hold it in and the grunt sounds were evident.  We immediately got the “eye,” as you can imagine, the corner of the mouth of the woman we feared also had a slight smile, as she told us in the loudest whisper to “CUT IT OUT!”  My father, of course, looked straight ahead as if he didn’t know us.  All I could think was, “Lord help us all.”

 I worked very hard through my teen and young adult years not to be like my mom.  Did it work?  Ask any of my children, I’m sure these same scenarios would fit their growing up years.  I recall saying to my daughters, the same things my mother said to me. “You may not understand now, but one day, you’ll find out I’m your best friend.”  

I love you Mom and Yes, you are my best friend!  May you rest in peace!

 Mirror Mirror on the Wall,

I guess I’m like her after all.

 Lileen Shannon

©2010 Mirror Mirror on the Wall by Lileen Shannon

Posted in african american, family, health and wellness, humor, laughter, Life Coaching, parenting, Women Transitions, Working families

The Battle of the Bulge – a conversation with myself!

THE BATTLE OF THE BULGE – Pt. 1

The battle of the bulge — even when you’re talking to yourself — is such a lukewarm conversation – it’s either cold or hot – depending on where you are in the battle.  I know I’ve tried and won – retreated — quit and loss.   I recall all of my conversations that either persuaded me to eat that slice of cake (I lost) or insisted I eat an apple (I won).  Day by day these conversations go on and on.  I can distinctly remember sitting on a bus gazing out the window and comparing my weight  to all the other overweight people  walking by — “Well, I’m not that big (Duh!  What does that mean?”). 

But everyday is a new day – and I choose to begin this day with a new attitude. It begins with:

 I can:  

  • lose weight
  • eat healthier
  • walk 20 minutes a day to start
  • be all that I can be – one day at a time.

In my conversation, I asked, “Whoever is staring at me in the mirror tomorrow morning, is it my answer for success?  If not, I’m in trouble!”

Lately, my conversations are more on strategies to begin winning this war, such as:

  • Keeping and recalling the scriptures helps to ‘reel’ me back.  Using the scriptures for comfort  and to keep me pumped with positive thoughts as I plan my battle. For example, Proverbs 25:28 counsels me that “like a city who’s walls have been broken down so is a man without self-control”.  Self-control is critical to win this war.
  •  Preparation is everything.  How I prepare is how I will play. 
  • Setting goals and making a wellness plan will help in my preparation.

Well, all that chattering has tired me out.  Thank goodness I didn’t answer myself 🙂 

If you are battling the bulge, you can win the war too! 

 How?  Be truthful to yourself.  Challenge yourself to think on a different level.  Flood your mind with healthy thinking. 

Join me – Let’s Make a Move

Posted in Christian Life Coach, education, family, health, health and wellness, life, Life Coaching, obesity, weight loss, Wellness Coaching, women, Women Transitions | Tagged , , , , ,