How do you spell S-U-C-C-E-S-S?

“You beat fourteen million other sperm to get here.

What makes you think you’re not a success?”-Les Williams

For many women, we oftentimes define success by the world and its standards.  Setting our standards by the worlds is a prescription for failure.

Does money really equal success? Does our self-worth equal our net worth? Do you believe that having “things” makes you a better person?

As a young adult my loving parents had high expectations of me. As a result, I set even higher expectations—unreachable–and I felt I failed them and myself.   When I received my Master’s Degree, I was 42 years old, single mother, earning low wages, new homeowner, and doing way too much to prove myself.  Many times, my peers, didn’t look too highly on my successes, as a matter of fact, somehow my accomplishments angered others.  That life experience is the beginning of a life-long transformation.  Ms. Vazant counsels us, in her 1993 book, The Value in the Valley, “When we do things for the sake of other people, we usually end up not feeling good about ourselves.  When your success is measured by how someone else will respond, you never know what to expect.”

Recently, I received a promotion at work and others ask me, “Why aren’t you jumping for joy?”   Frankly, a great friend and confidant, Roberta, once said to me, “Lileen, you do not always understand the depth of your accomplishments and its impact on others.” On the other hand, I learned to be low key about me!  Happy?  Yes, I’m Ecstatic! Absolutely! I feel good about myself because I am me and I have accomplished many triumphs in life; others I’m still working on.

So, how we do the things we do and how we walk through life — is mirrored in how we learn from our life experiences. It has been a spiritual growth for me.  It is through God I give all glory for my accomplishments — it wasn’t easy — and I remain humble in who I am.  What I know and how I feel is directly connected to how I love, give, do, and have.

I spell success L-O-V-E.  My accomplishments have been for the love of God, family, and giving back to the community by being the Best Me I Can Be.  How do you spell S-U-C-E-S-S?

Coach Lileen Shannon

August 29, 2012

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Seasons: My Pursuit of Happiness

In my journey, what I thought woPrecious Tree of Life - I am hereuld make me happy, led me to quick fixes which caused me to deal with the shame of not being fulfilled. I turned to men to find a man. I turned to alcohol to cope. I turned to cigarettes to relieve the anxiety. I digested books and pursued degrees to escape. I purchased a piece of the rock to prove I could. I studied the Bible and set a path for my life; and somehow, the way of the world got me off course. Faith and perseverance brought me back.

AA taught me acceptance was the answer to all my prayers. I did not need people, places, or things to determine who I am. So through prayer and supplication I lost the desire for alcohol and cigarettes. My accomplishments were good — but I lost sight of God in my pursuits and I distanced myself from what I needed first and foremost – my heavenly father. I learned the hard lesson that when lost sight of God I began to carry many burdens. I forgot that my spiritual connection is where I find truth and guidance for daily living.

Today, my pursuit of happiness is keeping God’s promises in front of me because they give me the hope and strength I need. I was reminded the other day that the richest and wisest king of all times, King Solomon counseled us that chasing pleasure as an end unto itself only leads to despair.

Who are you and where do you find happiness?

©2012. Lileen Shannon

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THE LITTLE GIRL IN ME – SEASONS

When I was a little girl,

I was so good,

But when I became a woman,

I was bad.

When I was a little girl,

I was so sweet,

But when I became a woman,

I was mad.

I lived by the Values expected of me,

I walked, I talked,

I did things accordingly,

I went to school, I followed the rules,

that didn’t teach me anything about me.

I started drinking and thinking,

and thinking and drinking,

until it took control over me.

It’s been 28 years since I have sung this song,

And over the years a love for self is what I found,

Now I stand on firmer ground.

Seasons come, Seasons go,

I am now sixty-years old,

A lot of time for me to see,

I was always the best Lileen I could be.

My message to you is don’t lose your soul,

over things you can’t control,

Build your faith in God and always love who you are.

I am a woman now with so many dreams,

loving that little girl in me!

©1984 Written by Lileen Shannon

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How have Life’s Thumps challenged you?

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Is Exercise a punishment?

Is Exercise a punishment?

Not According to Michelle May, M.D. in her January 2012 Am I hungry newsletter, we need to exercise for health, not punishment.  Read Dr. May’s advice:

“Don’t make the mistake of exercising to earn the right to eat or pay penance for eating, as in, “I was so bad at dinner last night; I’ll spend an extra hour on the treadmill.” This negative approach leads to dread and avoidance. Instead, exercise for energy, productivity, health, function, and longevity.

Two views of local Extension leaders drilling ...
Image by Cornell University Library via Flickr

Find activities that you really enjoy and that work well in your schedule. Even busy people quickly discover that it’s a great return on their investment when they focus on the benefits. Exercise is so valuable in fact, that if you’re too busy to exercise, you’re just too busy.

If you aren’t in shape yet, start small and you’ll quickly adapt. Picture that pendulum: small steps practiced consistently are more effective than one large, temporary overhaul.” –http://amihungry.com/enews.shtml

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For your health and wellness get a free complimentary life coach session at Aspire! Professional Life Coach Services  – Join me – Let’s Make a Move in 2012♥ Call 800-549-0213 or visit my website at www.aspire-lifecoach.com

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BLINDS SPOTS – Part II: We prefer fantasy instead of the pain of reality.

Does that make sense? Read the following scenario.

A woman thinking

There was a woman who left her husband after years of emotional abuse.  She had been in and out of counseling for years.  Each time she left her husband, she returned, hoping he was sincere about changing, trusting he would stop the emotional abuse,  and believing the relationship would begin to thrive.   This woman knew, through her own life experiences, this was not going to happen.  She knew she could not change him; however, the thought of ending the relationship was a feeling she didn’t want to experience.  To her, it was much more than ending the relationship, it was about packing up all her hopes and dreams –the fear of making a new life for her and her children — she didn’t want to face, the unknown she didn’t think, she knew how.  So she continued to put it off.

Does this sounds familiar?  Do you know someone in a situation like that?  Or, are you in a relationship, or a job, or any other situation where you would prefer fantasy instead of the pain of reality?    I know I’ve put off making important decisions because it was more comfortable being in the mess than it was in the pain of making the change.  It’s easier to turn the channels on life and tune out reality so we do not have to face the pain of it all.

According to Scott Peck, author of the Road Less Traveled, “Once we get it that life is difficult….then life is no longer difficult.”

So what can this woman do to get off the rollercoaster of life and take the next steps toward a smoother path?   She can begin to:

  • Address the issue that sometimes change is painful.
  • Normalize what she is feeling.
  • Address that they she can’t make the decision unless she first clears out the old.
  • Reflect on questions during quiet time such as:

Is there any truth I am refusing to look at because of the pain?

Is this a problem that I have ignored in the past?

Am I willing to make a change?

Based on American Association of Christian Counseling (www.aacc.net), Professional Life Coaching 201 Series, Trainer:  Georgia Shaffer, M.A. (Licensed Pennsylvania Psychologist/Life Coach
Posted in african american, Business, career, children, Christian Life Coach, education, family, health, health and wellness, hope, life, Life Coaching, mothers, parenting, transitions, Wellness Coaching, women, Women Transitions

BLINDSPOTS!

BLINDSPOTS (Part I of IV)

“It’s the things we do not see that hinder our success.”

“Forewarned is Forearmed.”

When a car nearly swipes another on the freeway you have witnessed an example of a visual blindspot and as people; we meet up with blindspots that can throw curves in our lives. There are also mental blindspots (for example long ago the Pharisees were accused of being “blind” because they saw outward behavior as more important than the matters of the heart). Whether it’s visual or mental, blindspots can halt our ability to move forward.

How many of you have had dreams and visions that became stalled because of unresolved issues in your life?

Well, I want to share with you this evening, a lesson on one of 4 common blindspots and how the services of a life coach help you to breakthrough.

Blind Spot #1:

“We think we are the exception to the rule.”

Athletes have a tendency, to see themselves as above average than their peers.

94% of college professors rank themselves as “above average,” even though statistics show in actuality 50% may be above average.

How many of you remember the cartoon character Yogi Bear, his sidekick Boo-Boo, and Ranger Smith? Do you remember Yogi’s famous saying, “I’m smarter than the average bear.” If you recall, Yogi was always getting into trouble because he overestimated his cleverness. Ranger Smith caught Yogi doing things he shouldn’t have done and then poor

Boo-Boo BearImage via Wikipedia

Image via Wikipedia

Boo-Boo, who use to say, “But Yogi, I don’t think Ranger Smith is going to like that.”

Researchers have found that those who are the least skilled tend to overestimate their skills and are the ones who get themselves into trouble (debt, credit cards, etc.). On the other hand, those gifted tend to underestimate themselves.

This is important to know as a life coach because if a client is consistently underestimating their abilities, guide the client to address their fears and spend time asking the questions that encourage them to take risks by setting realistic expectations.

The bottom line is never assume we are the exception to the Rule.

2010 taken from Association of Christian Counselors, Life Coach Lesson, presented

by Dwight Bain.
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Coaching is about walking beside others!

You are not here merely to make a living. You are here to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world and you impoverish yourselves if you forget the errand.” -Woodrow Wilson

There are multiple people with varying personalities on this earth. We all have different stories about our life experiences. We can help others pull through tough times through storytelling. When you face a challenge head on, it strengthens you, deepens your faith, matures and develops you. In addition, it helps you become equipped, ready, and able to move forward aPenguinsnd add value to someone else. Coaching flows out of one’s life story. Coaching is about results!

My life experience has equipped me and prepared me to walk beside others with God’s grace. God’s spirit is stirring me up, this gift inside of me is like a laser beam to guide people and encourage them to take part in their own life. This stirring is taking me beyond my fears.

Aspire! Professional Life Coach service unlocks the door and opens your world so YOU can begin to create new opportunities, possibilities, and empowerment. Live Your Life! In these tough times we are living in, we must build on our strengths – develop goals to bounce back. God gave a color on the rainbow. God is walking with me on my life journey so I can walk with you on yours as a professional coach.

Can I really walk beside YOU and guide you.? Yes, I can. I’m open to telling my story. Will you? Walk with me!

Click on http://www.aspire-lifecoach.com to schedule a free complimentary appointment.

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