In my journey, what I thought would make me happy, led me to quick fixes which caused me to deal with the shame of not being fulfilled. I turned to men to find a man. I turned to alcohol to cope. I turned to cigarettes to relieve the anxiety. I digested books and pursued degrees to escape. I purchased a piece of the rock to prove I could. I studied the Bible and set a path for my life; and somehow, the way of the world got me off course. Faith and perseverance brought me back.
AA taught me acceptance was the answer to all my prayers. I did not need people, places, or things to determine who I am. So through prayer and supplication I lost the desire for alcohol and cigarettes. My accomplishments were good — but I lost sight of God in my pursuits and I distanced myself from what I needed first and foremost – my heavenly father. I learned the hard lesson that when lost sight of God I began to carry many burdens. I forgot that my spiritual connection is where I find truth and guidance for daily living.
Today, my pursuit of happiness is keeping God’s promises in front of me because they give me the hope and strength I need. I was reminded the other day that the richest and wisest king of all times, King Solomon counseled us that chasing pleasure as an end unto itself only leads to despair.
Who are you and where do you find happiness?
©2012. Lileen Shannon